poem: highschool is over (cheers to this)

i am spinning in a blue dress and to first follow him i must

be all of myself, not for the matriarchy but for

my small ascendence into what He envisioned. this is not high school: strangers

will smile at you, later, i promise. Also, listen: the depression and the

choas will not go away (ever), but you’re an

artist

admit it, if you didn’t have it, you’d want it back. if you consider slitting yourself

into thin red lines alone in the public bathroom let me tell you that

i

have wanted that a thousand times and i have never done it once. that i

am okay from heartbreak, that i can wait just a little longer. here’s cheers to

this: lift up imaginary champagne to beautiful film

soundtracks at 11:52 p.m., with finals tomorrow and after: here’s our toast to

living, and waiting

there is so much of me i am willing to give to a man. i would be the Woman in the

shadows behind the throne; i will follow him to graduate school or to a naval

base in japan or anywhere. But there is a part of me

that must be happy being alone,

first, before i can be everything for someone else. cheers to this: four years of

emo shit is over and i am better and stronger and

smarter, already. hair in a bun and i am studying and my work ethic will not

fail me. You will not fail me. and he is

someday spinning with me with the blue dress flaired out in sunlight but first i am alone

and I

am okay.