alternatively titled: “buffy, season six“
i am New York in the window,
i am Paris in the glass.
can you find me, i am
laughing—
can you find me,
i won’t last.
cities in the stardust
make shit inside my head,
can i sleep with Prague?
with the adolescent-dead?
the boys are saving nothing
the boys are going mad
i am just an illness
pathetic, never had.
can you see me in the outlines,
in the words that I won’t say?
i’ll have sex with strangers
if you make him stay away.
i’ll fuck in the coffin
if you keep it from my head,
pull the monsters out
find me in your bed.
pull the monsters out—
undress me, save me—
i am laughing i am laughing
he is gone—
i am had.
the last pavilion 