poem: autumn / catch me i’m falling

highschool-me listened to far away
musicals, the rx a foreign and edgy thing,
everything sex, men smiling
and cum dripping out; now the normal
is redone and i watch –
ravens land on old buildings,
the turrets gothic, lined against the fall;
nothing is magic – not the raw
coming in calendars, the days
falling into vampire schedules,
five a.m. blinking, late again
late again. apologies made
addict-style – the chemistry laughs, repeats.
you don’t know me: i am
not like this, you have the new criticism,
the text – you don’t know my face,
my name; i am the girl
in the back of the library, her legs pulled
into her chest – fucking little
stereotype, mad people justifying madness
for the poetry, the shit essays
and shit attempts. are you tired –
of having the edges breached, remade –
i am, i am, tired too.